Monday, September 16, 2024
In the fall of 1997, a transformative grief support group called Starting a New Life was established at St. Frances Cabrini Church in Granbury.
Founded by Phillis Brod and Donna and Phillip Gudat, the ministry has become a vital source of comfort and healing for those coping with the loss of a loved one.
Brod moved to Granbury from Victoria in 1996 after her husband passed away from lung cancer at the age of 52. Having been involved in a grief support ministry in Victoria, she sought a similar program at St. Frances Cabrini Church but found none.
Recognizing the need, Phillis teamed up with Donna and Phillip Gudat, who had found solace in a grief support program in Fort Worth after experiencing divorce. Together, the trio founded Starting a New Life, offering support to individuals grieving the loss of loved ones through death or divorce.
"Our culture does not deal with death," Brod explained. "It is the 'unmentionable' thing in life that is not discussed. In the grief group, that is what is discussed, examined and experienced, whereby people can assimilate their grief into their own beings, rather than being oppressed by it."
BILL AND PHILLIS JOIN FORCES
One of the initial participants was Bill Brewer, who had lost his wife unexpectedly at the age of 49. After completing two program sessions, Brewer became a facilitator, dedicated to guiding others through their grief journeys. Phillis and Bill began dating in June 1998 and married in June 2001. Their partnership has been the backbone of the ministry for more than 25 years, helping countless individuals navigate the complexities of grief.
LOSING BEN
The COVID-19 pandemic in 2020 posed significant challenges, but the ministry adapted by moving its sessions into participants' homes due to restrictions on gatherings. Despite these hurdles, Starting a New Life continued its mission with the resilience and dedication of its leaders and participants.
Phillis and Bill stepped aside in 2022, entrusting the ministry to Ben Bradley and a team of facilitators. Tragically, Bradley, who had undergone two back surgeries, suffered a fatal blood clot May 29 of this year.
In tribute to Bradley’s unwavering dedication, Phillis and Bill Brewer have returned to lead the upcoming session, beginning Oct. 20 at St. Frances Cabrini Church.
THROUGH THE PAIN
Linda Michal Siddall shared her deeply personal journey through grief, highlighting the transformative impact of Starting a New Life Ministry.
After the devastating loss of her youngest son, aged 31, under suspicious circumstances, Siddall was left to grapple with profound sorrow. A year later, his body was found, compounding the heartache of having lost her eldest son unexpectedly years before.
"Starting a New Life Ministry gave me an outlet to talk to others who understood my pain," Siddall recounted. "Hearing about others' losses helped me put my own grief into perspective."
The ministry became a place where she could share stories, comfort others, and make new friends who had experienced similar tragedies. "The support I found in these small, private groups was invaluable. We could count on each other," she added.
Each session began with a large group prayer and discussion on various topics to address specific concerns and coping strategies. Siddall explained, "A facilitator would give a witness talk, sharing how they worked through a particular issue.”
After a break for snacks and socializing, participants would split into smaller groups of 6-10 people with similar losses, such as the loss of a spouse or child, for more intimate sharing.
The session concluded with a final prayer in the large group. Siddall described the witness talks as eye-openers, offering valuable insights into healing and actions that could help or hinder the process. "Small groups were a great place to ask for and give help and share ideas," she emphasized.
The impact of these sessions on Siddall's life was profound. "Sometimes I think it saved my sanity and my life. Facing the sadness and finding the will to keep living was incredibly challenging."
Despite having a solid faith before, Siddall found that the nondenominational nature of the class fostered even more growth and sharing. "It helps everyone be more open-minded," she said.
Siddall vividly recalled several witness talks — a parent who lost a son in the Black Hawk Down incident and another from a couple who lost their 10-year-old child to a medical emergency. "At least I got to keep my boys into adulthood," she reflected.
Siddall encourages anyone in need of support to give the ministry a try. "You can always quit if it doesn't meet your needs. You don't have to talk; you can just listen until you're ready. No one minds if you cry — whether you're male or female. Tears are part of the healing process."
FROM PARTICIPANT TO FACILITATOR
After several years as a participant, Siddall became a facilitator, helping others navigate their grief. "After my husband of 51 years died of cancer a few years ago, I returned as a participant and received the support I needed to get through that loss," she shared.
Having recently moved from Granbury, Siddall is considering starting a new group in her current location.
Reflecting on her journey, Siddall expressed deep gratitude for the ministry. "It changed both myself and my husband for the better. I'll be eternally grateful for the leaders and all the friendships and strength I've gained through this group. I highly recommend it.
“I've been able to literally 'start a new life,' something I never thought possible. I've even remarried a wonderful man who loves me very much, and I love him. God is good!"
EMBRACING FAITH AND GRIEF
Since its inception, more than 659 people have participated in Starting a New Life, finding a path to re-enter life carrying their grief, rather than being weighed down by it. The program spans eight to 10 weeks, with each session addressing different aspects of grief.
Participants not only confront their feelings but also find solace in the shared experiences of others. The social interactions within the group, including events like Taco Tuesday, play a crucial role in the healing process.
Starting a New Life is fundamentally a talking ministry. Sharing struggles allows others to help, share and guide people through this difficult time. The ministry's facilitators, all of whom have experienced grief themselves, provide a compassionate and understanding environment for participants.
GRIEF HAS NO DENOMINATION
Phillis and Bill Brewer’s commitment to this ministry has extended beyond Granbury. In their two years away, they have introduced the program to other churches, ensuring that more communities can benefit from its life-changing support.
As they prepare to lead another session, Phillis reflects, "This is God's Ministry; we and our wonderful facilitators just show up for work." She adds, "We are grateful that the Catholic Church has been willing to support this ministry for 28 years. But we also recognize that grief has no denomination; sooner or later, we will all experience one of the most painful things in life: grief."
The upcoming session of Starting a New Life will commence Oct. 20 at 3 p.m. at St. Frances Cabrini Church, continuing its legacy of providing comfort and guidance to those in need.
For more information about the Starting a New Life Grief Support Ministry, visit St. Frances Cabrini Church at https://www.stfrances.net/faith-formation | Contact the Brewers at 817-573-8915.
