Phones say the darnedest things

March 29, 2014

Finley turned 3 in January, and so far this has been a great age.

She’s still my baby but also my little friend.

She’s started drawing little figurines that actually resemble people instead of squiggles, and her communicative skills surprise me every day.

In fact, the only thing that isn’t great about this age is the constant fear I live in when we are in public.

Not fear of something happening to us (although that fear always resides in a mother’s mind), but the fear of what she might say out loud to a stranger.

She is so observant and outspoken that at any given time she could say something that could cause me to turn beet red with humiliation.

We had to take my little dog to work on my day off two weeks ago, and she told everyone in the waiting room, “She stinks because she pooped in the living room!”

She just moved from the church nursery to the 3-year-old Sunday school class, which means that she now attends the regular church service with us.

The very first day that we had her with us during the service, she asked some questions very loudly that I’d rather she hadn’t.

Our church does a really great job of keeping children happy and entertained during the service, but sometimes I give her my phone so that she’ll play a silent game and be less likely to say something to embarrass me.

I always have it on silent, and have the apps on silent, as well. A few weeks ago, she had done a pretty good job of staying quiet throughout the service. When it was time for the closing prayer, we stood up and I had my eyes closed as we prayed.

I thought she was praying with us until I heard this loud music playing.

I opened my eyes and saw that she had grabbed my husband’s phone (which was on silent, but didn’t have the apps on silent).

She opened up a nursery rhyme app that he had downloaded for her, and before I could grab it out of her hands and turn it off, the nursery rhyme began.

I will not say what the nursery rhyme was called, but it was definitely a double entendre. (I never heard this nursery rhyme until that day. It was about a little girl’s love for her cat.)

I felt like my face was a thousand degrees. I hit the button to close out the app, but the damage was done.

My husband looked at me with enormous eyes, and all I could do was put my head down and dig in my purse so that I didn’t have to make eye contact with anyone. I mean, it was the CLOSING PRAYER.

How could it have happened during such a quiet time, and right before we usually visit with friends and tell them goodbye?

I couldn’t believe it.

I still can’t.

My face is red as I’m typing this. I feel like it is the most embarrassing thing that could possibly happen in church.

It’s definitely more embarrassing than anything that she might have said.

So from now on, we’ll take our chances and keep the phones put away.

Especially during closing prayer.

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