Roger Enlow: Farmer’s Almanac: Just what the doctor ordered

October 6, 2012

The perfect prescription.

The 2013 Old Farmer’s Almanac. (“People have been enjoying The Old Farmer’s Almanac since George Washington was president, in part because it offers so much for so little – $5.99, to be exact.”)

The price is painless, but what’s more impressive is that the little yellow publication puts a smile on the face.

Goodgoshamighty, we sure could use some funny faces in our mad, mad, mad world today.

The Almanac asks, “Do you suffer from Presidential Campaign Overload (PCO)?” There’s good news, the Almanac assures.

“The symptoms of PCO can be alleviated by generous amounts of information that is…

“…useful, with a pleasant degree of humor.

“The cure? The 2013 Old Farmer’s Almanac available (now), everywhere books and magazines are sold.”

They’ve sent me a preview copy every year at the paper, hoping, I’m sure, to get a little publicity.

It usually works, especially when I’m stuck 30 minutes before deadline wondering what this column will be.

After I’d thumb through the pages and print some of the “useful, with a pleasant degree of humor” items, I’d pass the Almanac on to my father-in-law, Hugh Hiler. He’s gone now, but he sure would enjoy reading at leisure the ol’ standby. He farmed in his younger days and still enjoyed weather predictions, which probably gave the Almanac its staying power, especially in Texas and other farming and ranching states.

So what does the Almanac say about 2013 weather?

I think you’ll like it.

Cold and snow are forecast for this winter in Texas. And the summer? Cool and wet.

More specifically: “Winter temperatures will be slightly colder than normal, on average, with precipitation and snowfall near or a bit above normal.

“April and May will be wetter than normal. Summer will be cooler and a bit rainier than normal.”

Now for some of the “humorous” features:

“The telling truth about the history of kissing. Did you know that human kissing probably evolved from sniffing?”

“Just who is the American farmer? According to the Census, the average farm nets only about $35,000 annually, yet the number of farms has increased for the first time since before World War II.”

“Homemade first aid. Plagued by poison ivy? Insect bites bugging you? You’ll learn tried and true homemade remedies for seasonal ailments ranging from chapped lips and bee stings to grill burns (hint: eat papaya).”

“How to keep Fluffy fit. U.S. pets are becoming portly. Find out what’s fat for Fluffy (consider: A 19-pound house cat is equivalent to a 5-foot 4-inch woman weighing 276 pounds).

There’s more. Much more.

It’ll put a smile on your face.

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