If you thought 2012 was crazy, just wait

January 2, 2013

Man, 2012 went by fast.

The Mayans were wrong, so I had to help clean the house for Christmas company, not to mention make a mad rush to buy last-minute gifts (hope my wife liked the TV guide, I looked everywhere for a January issue).

And now that we’ve “survived,” it’s time for our annual New Year’s sports predictions. None have yet to come true, but they are fun to make nonetheless.

However, if one or more do happen to come true in 2013, remember where you read it first…

Granbury Lady Pirate coach Leta Andrews announces her retirement after a long and legendary career. However, upon hearing that Dirk Nowitzki and his wife are having a baby girl, Andrews recants her retirement with the statement, “I bet we can get them to move to Granbury.”

Granbury High golfer Travis Benson, on his way to winning state, shoots a 59. Ironically, so do I, and I accomplish my feat in just nine holes.

The Texas Rangers, having failed to sign a big-name star during free agency, announce that Nolan Ryan is coming out of retirement to pitch. Jose Canseco proclaims he wants to do the same, if he can first get each team to lift its restraining order.

Tolar baseball coach Trey Holcomb, combining his love of baseball and the theater, quits coaching to star in a revival of “Damn Yankees.” He quits, however, when they refuse to rename the show “Those Doggone Rangers.”

The Granbury Pirates announce that since Midnight Madness is so popular, every football practice and every game will be held at midnight all season. They return to the playoffs and get their first bidistrict win since 1967, but no one is awake to see it.

The Granbury High boys basketball team makes the playoffs for the first time since 1999. As a tribute to the accomplishment, coach David Breazeale is given the choice of having Pirate Gym or the practice gym renamed after him.

Lipan approves six-man football, but struggles mightily in its first season when they insist on playing only five guys. They also set a national record for fumbles as they learn dribbling an oblong ball is extremely challenging.

Former Dallas Cowboys head coach/current Houston Texans defensive coordinator Wade Phillips returns to the area as a high school coach with Fort Worth Paschal. After the Panthers go 0-10, he is quoted as saying, “Hey, I have just as many wins as Tom Landry had in his first season with the Cowboys.”

And finally, in an unprecedented move, an area football player (school TBA) announces he is skipping his senior year to enter college early. When the NCAA informs him that college athletes do have to go to class (everywhere except Auburn), he returns to high school.

There ya go. As for the possibility of any becoming reality, as a good friend of mine says about blind dates and the lottery, you never know…

Happy 2013.

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Category: Sports Archived