We get the picture – but they don’t

January 19, 2013

Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall used to have a popular comedy routine called “Here’s your sign.” I have a suggestion for a similar gig. It’s called “What’s wrong with this picture?”

Consider the following situations involving real people who live among us, but who may not actually live in the world of reality:

and she’ll sign your yearbook, too

“A” stands for apple, and apples are for teachers, but this teacher is probably more familiar with the letter “X.”

Middle school science teacher Stacie Halas, a.k.a. “Tiffany Six,” appealed her firing after officials in the Oxnard, Calif., school district discovered that she had been, well, let’s just say in the film industry.

Know how they found out? From Halas’ students. The Internet, you see, if available to everyone, regardless of whether a school has a firewall on school computers. All you need is a smartphone.

Know what isn’t smart? Thinking your career in adult films isn’t going to jam you up when you want to switch to a career in teaching.

Um…what?

Tony Lindsey, a.k.a. “Crazy Tony,” has been banned from the TLC reality show “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” by Honey Boo Boo’s mother, Mama June.

June Shannon thought that Crazy Tony’s arrest last November for pulling a dangerous prank that involved dressing in a gorilla suit and scaring motorists was just a bit over the top.

Mind you, this is a mom who makes spaghetti sauce by microwaving butter and ketchup and who gives her daughter “Go Go Juice” – Mountain Dew and Red Bull – before she competes in pageants.

Of Crazy Tony, Mama June opined: “Not to be mean, but we want to keep it family oriented.”

So gather your family ‘round the television for 30 minutes of wholesome bodily explosions both north and south, as well as various and sundry other charming behaviors.

Also in the “What’s wrong with this picture” category: CNN’s Jane Valez Mitchell recently said that Honey Boo Boo reminds her of Shirley Temple, and the modern day reality star could end up following in Temple’s footsteps by becoming, of all things, an ambassador.

And you only THOUGHT the country was in trouble.

hate-mongering in the name of god

Westboro Baptist Church. What’s wrong with this picture?

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