The race … walk … is on for the biggest losers

December 1, 2012

Two chatty women walking together on the town’s leafy hike and bike trail is not unusual.

Two guys doing the same thing – well, it’s not that common. At least not in Granbury.

But there they were. The two male co-workers.

Overweight.

Huffing.

Puffing.

Trying not to blow THE BIGGEST LOSER challenge on the very first week.

“I have an idea,” one said to two associates a few days before. “Why don’t we try to lose some weight? Set a goal and see who can lose the most. The losers have to buy the winner (loser) a nutritious dinner at Joe T. Garcia’s and hot fudge sundae at Braum’s for dessert.”

It’s not the journey; it’s the destination.

So the three guys have an incentive.

A challenge.

A game.

A war.

For exercise?

“We can walk together,” one said.

“Or we can play basketball,” another said.

“Or maybe Putt-Putt,” piped up another.

For nutrition?

“We can bring apples and oranges and raisins and Fig Newtons to the office,” one said.

“And maybe broccoli and carrots and red bell peppers,” another added.

“And the all-fat Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing,” another said.

(Alert: I just now overheard one of the contestants say – and this is no joke – that he ate 1 1/2 hot dogs last night. Claims no harm because the bun was 100 percent whole wheat.)

One of the guys in the group has been yo-yoing – weight-wise – most of his adult life.

The first attempt – and somewhat successful – was about 25 years ago after his stepmother subtly announced, “You’re fat!”

Ah-ah, an incentive.

HE WAS GOING TO SHOW HER.

He ditched the La-Z-Boy and began exercising – a brisk walk every day after work. Sit-ups, push-ups.

He began eating better. More feathers and fins and less hooves and snouts. More leaves. More stems.

No more ice cream with Johnny Carson.

The weight began to drop. Face a little thinner. Pants a little looser.

Mission almost accomplished.

Unfortunately, the temptation was too much.

It probably began in the second half of a Cowboys game. (Always blame the Cowboys.) Drown the sorrows in Coors Banquet and Doritos and salsa.

Then came the holidays. Sausage balls and cheesecakes not exactly on the USDA food pyramid.

Of course there wasn’t time to exercise. Too busy during the holidays.

So the pounds returned. So did the La-Z-Boy. So did the stepmother.

Ah-ah.

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