People unite! Save Twinkies!

December 1, 2012

It is a national disgrace that we are going to allow “Twinkies” to go away.

Let’s put them on the endangered species list and help them recover.

I have personally been losing a lot of sleep worrying about what is to become of “Twinkies.” People get too concerned about matters that are not very important like education in Texas losing funding, the increase in the number of people living in poverty, people who have inadequate housing and just plain hunger. Let those things go and get concerned about something we can do something about.

“Twinkies” are what is important right now, and they are in danger of taking on the title of RIP. I’m not sure I can stand it.

Where are teenagers going to get their sugar highs if we allow “Twinkies” to expire? The next thing we know people will be down on the “Buster Bar” and “Mud Pies” and even high sugary drinks until you won’t even recognize the grocery store before long.

Worst-case scenario would be that people start eating healthy and put grocery stores out of business, and even doctors might suffer because not enough people would come in obese and sick with diabetes.

Medical schools would have to shut down because there would be no demand for doctors and the whole American economy might collapse. This could be a national disaster if we don’t bring back the “Twinkie.”

I’m thinking of starting a protest group called something like SAD which stands for Save our Twinkies ( I never did well in spelling). I think this could spread to the place where free speech is threatened, and we might even have people taking away our assault weapons. The next thing we know someone will be taking away our religious freedom, too. Already women are worming their way into business and politics. Next thing we know women will think they are as good as men. Our way of life is threatened. We all understand the domino theory of politics. Give people an inch and they will take a mile. Don’t just roll over and allow those corrupt, pinko, commie politicians in Washington, D.C. to take away our rights.

I’m sure liberals must be behind this latest assault upon our freedoms.

I’m sure there is a secret CIA plan to bring down the “Twinkie.” People, we can’t let this happen.

LET’S SAVE TWINKIES!

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