Chelsea Hooper: Next time, I’ll be renting a camper

October 27, 2012

Next time, I’ll be renting a camper

I’ve had a few people ask me how the camping trip went, so I’ll just tell you all.

The original plan was to camp from Friday afternoon until late Sunday morning. Well Tuesday I started having a little bit of a sore throat, and by Thursday I was really worried that it may turn into full-blown sickness. So I tried to overdose on Vitamin C in preparation for the big weekend, and I must say, it really helped.

But when Friday rolled around and my husband was ready to start loading the truck, I decided that it might be best for everyone involved if I stay home Friday and join him and everyone else Saturday morning. I knew that Friday it was going to be cold, and I feared that that might make my throat sore again.

So, I went to Cleburne State Park with my friends Megan and Chad early Saturday morning. All day Saturday I felt pretty sick to my stomach, but I did have a good time visiting with everyone. It got really hot Saturday, and I didn’t pack clothes for hot weather, so my husband and our friend had to take a pocket knife to my camouflage sweatpants. (How’s that for real deal camper wife?)

As nighttime rolled around, I looked around at everyone’s campers with pure envy. Even the people who had tents had HUGE tents that looked like they had multiple rooms. Our tent, my husband informed me, cost $5 at a garage sale. And remember how I mentioned in the last column that my husband spent a pretty penny (aka a Cabela’s gift card he’s had for a while) on a brand new air mattress? Well, the air mattress is about 3 feet tall and took up the ENTIRE $5 tent. There was no room to stand up, and to change clothes you had to lay down on the mattress.

As I lay down to go to sleep that night, I almost felt a tear roll down my face as I thought of everyone so comfortable and cool in their campers, and how wonderful my bed would feel in that moment.

Saturday night the low was about 74. That’s not great camping weather. It was hot. I turned on my “white noise” app on my phone and tried to pray myself to sleep. The mattress was uncomfortable, and it was hot. I thought I heard a scary cat outside of our tent, but I refused to look. Every time I’d finally drift off to sleep, my husband’s snoring would wake me. I think I can definitely say that it was the worst night of sleep I’ve ever had.

I was so happy when the sun came up even though I needed more sleep, because that meant that the night was over, and I was closer to crawling into my own bed.

So it turns out that I wasn’t really a great real deal camper wife, and I can see how I could come across a little bit as a Zsa Zsa.

But I don’t blame myself. I couldn’t help it that I didn’t feel well, that it was hot, that our tiny tent barely held our enormous, uncomfortable air mattress, or that my husband snored louder than I knew possible. So, will I go camping again? Yes.

But you can bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be renting a camper next time.

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